Failure to Prepare
by Thea Dean

School officials have made great strides beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic since I graduated almost thirty years ago.  There is better understanding today of how there is more to education than just the basic 3R's than there were in 1978.  Having attended a small town public high school left me totally unprepared for college not only academically but financially and psychologically as well.  I must admit that I could have put more effort into preparing myself but unfortunately we were lacking many advantages that are common place to the educational system today such as counselors, financial advisors, and a more accepting attitude that higher education is for everyone not just the privileged.

Any public school is defined by the community that funds it, the town my high school was located in continued year after year voting no to all school bond requests even though our buildings were falling in and the auditorium was condemned.  Shortage of funds affected all aspects and quality of my school, not only buildings but all manner of supplies and staff.  This lack of caring and support by the community plants seeds of doubt and unworthiness in an already fragile mind.

Teens need all the understanding, support and guidance you can give them.  Perhaps a counselor could have seen that I was just a young girl confused by issues at home, crippled with shyness and in great need of guidance.  Simple instruction in how to organize, research and study could have helped tremendously. Instead without any effort on their part to try to refute the notion I was written off as a ne'er-do-well not worth taking the time and trouble to help.

Sadly my school and even worse the entire community could have been used as text book examples in class discrimination.  Unfortunately if you were not from a rich or prominent family, involved in athletics, a cheerleader, or blessed with popularity, some teachers ignore you and just pass you on through instead of trying to find out what is going on with you so they can help you or direct you to someone who could - this practice could not be blamed on over crowding as most classes rarely if ever went over twenty-five students.  One teachers blatant preferential treatment was shown with a term paper assignment.  My mother spent somewhere between $30 and $50, money she could ill afford, to rent a typewriter for me to do this paper on, I worked very hard doing the best job I could and getting it turned in on time.  At the end of the semester me and a few others who all knew we were not favorites of this teacher found out he had not even bothered to look at our papers much less grade them.  This was extremely upsetting as well as discouraging, without feedback from him how was I to know if I had done the assignment right in the future when faced with a similar project?

The feelings of doubt and unworthiness continue to fuel insecurities and shyness.  Some teachers interpret these as slow-witted and/or laziness.  Once they have labeled you as dumb and/or lazy then they see no reason in having to help prepare you for college.  When I was in school either people did not realize or chose to ignore that the more a person hears derogatory things about themselves the more they will believe it themselves and will live up to the expectations set by others for them.

Due to not learning some basic steps in math in early elementary school I was behind and could never catch up again through my entire elementary and high school years. I had one good teacher in the seventh and eighth grades who tried very hard to help me, but just did not understand that what I needed was to go all the way back to the beginning and learn the basics so I could advance my math skills.  Due to this lack of understanding the problem and inability to overcome it I developed  the excuse that I had a mental block that prevented me from being able to do math.  And of course the old standby, "what do I need to know this for, I'll never use it".  However I was able to scrape by with D's and get passed through and graduate, but while doing so the constant stress of not knowing how to do the work, fear of being called on in class, the humiliation of bad grades and dealing with my mother over the bad grades lead to a deep depression.  Along with this depression came apathy; why should I care when no one else does; I'm just too dumb to learn; why bother; feelings of worthlessness that have at times overwhelmed and threatened to destroy me.  But thanks to my husband and daughters love and support I have been able to overcome them.

Now almost thirty years later and a lifetime of struggles, bad jobs and self-examination I have the opportunity to return to school with a new attitude and greater determination to succeed.  Fortunately for me I got a basic math instructor who understood why I was having problems learning math, with his skillful guidance I was at last able to conquer my life long fear, loathing and inability to do math.  Currently I am making a B in Elementary Algebra - a feat I never dreamed was possible before and encourages me in my ability to succeed in college.

Although there are more opportunities today than thirty years ago - we have counselors, the internet, telephone hotlines, and more - the heaviest burden of responsibility of seeing that the student receives help lies with school officials.  Students who receive the help and guidance they need in high school and can continue on to college benefits not just the student but society at large.  But there must be changes made to our educational system to better prepare students who know they will not be going to college for a trade with more extensive technical training.  Whether a student is aiming for college or a trade every aspect must be seen to, to ensure each and every child regardless of race, religion, athletic ability, financial or class distinction receives the best education possible.

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