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Scott Cave
The brook is whispering to me, The water breathing upon the rocks, Calling me to lie beside them, To close my eyes, To breathe deeply: to forget. An old rotted tree falls, Just beyond the brook, A deer softly crunches the leaves Of the fallen tree, Testing the air with its’ nose, Drawing ever closer to me. I open my eyes and see before me The eyes of the dear Staring back, wondering. I close my eyes, The sound of the brook filling my head, Numbness spreading over me, Consuming me. Release is crying to me, Letting go of the pain etched into me, The fear that has haunted me for so long, It’s grip loosening from me, Oh… sweet release. I have lived as long as I dare, For only pain awaits me, Hopelessness is all that is forward Backward is rage and sorrow. The moment is what the moment is, Gone from me, they all are I open my eyes once again, Ants have started a long line Never ending, ceaseless An army with one purpose, Single-minded in it’s course, The trail has started over me, Like a belt cinched to tight…purpose, A bird swoops down, Disintegrating the belt, There purpose gone, Wandering off like an errand left to be done. Disinterested the bird steps to the brook For cold water is heaven on the lips of nature, It dips its’ wings into the water, Spraying droplets upon my face, Like tears rolling onward to oblivion, I blink naught, faceless… My finger reaches to the surface of the stillest pool Shattering beneath my touch, Undulating, forgetful of its’ perfectness Of its’ stillness, I lift a stone from the brook, Rounded from its’ pain, Curved smooth by its’ years of toil Small fractures, where it has just given in And let time take its’ course with it I will walk no more Numbness is my companion, Unable to release what is mine, For years I have become this rock Smoothed and fractured Crumbling… wasting There are no pieces to put back together Like all the stones stretching backwards from this brook One has become many And the water has worn away the edges Until there is no possibility of finding away to put it together So are the seeds of my life Worn away by the water, Broken by time and struggle and strife Scattered, forgotten I have become this brook And like these rocks I have given into time The only answers are those in this water Insistent, ceaseless, pressing onward Wearing down layers of protection Until there is nothing at all Nothing to signify an ending or a beginning Nothing to ever say it was there. If I had the will to scream Or the strength to cry Or the desire to walk beyond this brook Over that next hill I am always reminded of the stones In this small brook, To close my eyes against the glaring of the light, To forget my place in this world, Whatever that was, Wherever it was supposed to be Has lost all consistency Edging closer to it, Finding comfort in nothingness In peace, the last breath escaping from me Eyes slitting slightly, Heart that once beat its’ purpose upon my chest Ceaseless, driving me onward Now slows its’ progression its’ charade, The blood that flowed through me slows its’ dance And I find comfort in it Peace… I feel her wings upon me I feel her take me into her arms And her tears on my cheeks And her voice calling me home I have no strength to open my eyes Nor the will to smile, Maybe beyond the next hill, She whispers to me, You shall find what you seek But deep down inside I am always reminded of this brook And the toil of time…
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